Saturday, March 31, 2007

Blame it on the Rain.

The rain can make the superior species do silly things.

It can make...

...them think that cardboard is going to keep them dry for ten blocks.

...women roll up their jeans while tip-toeing the shallow end of a puddle with pink open-toe stilettos that frame their bespeckled pedicures, all the while yelping and screeching with each consequent step.

...teenagers fall off bikes while trying to hold an umbrella with one hand and a duffel bag with the other.

...teased-hair, smeared eye-liner, seven hundred bracelet adorned, cowboy boot totting, precision ripped jean wearing macho men scurry while their 10-inch healed, slime green prom dress, every little girl's dream under the Christmas tree Barbie Doll Bust Aquanet hair stacked 3 stories high girlfriend stands in the middle of the intersection wailing like a seagull fighting a vulture for the ocean front property carcass of a boat propellered manatee (the vulture was on vacation, please save the manatee).

...the Saturday night, half in the bag, completely in the funk, no upper lip, wing-tipped brethren use their leather brief cases as umbrellas.

...three university girlfriends share a medium sized Cynthia Rowley, lilac emblazoned parasol when in actuality the owner and holder of last year's mom's birthday present is standing in the back getting soaked.

...a poor soul to forget to sweep back his salt/peppered comb over. Instead, letting it hang like the fringes of heaven. Trust, I wanted to take the pic, but it just seemed like a bad idea to rile up a train full of rain soaked, cosmetics down their cheeks , (OK, some had water proof) squishy shoed folks. I ain't crazy. Being Japan, I wouldn't get mobbed, but man, those cold stares would pierce right through me like an icicle through a terrorist eye in a sequel film to a Bruce Willis film where the original took place in...Nakatomi plaza. It was the '80's, Japanese corporate take overs, Nintendo/Sega wars. Ah, when Sega was king. Fond memories.

It kept raining all night. I threw on a pair of Audio Technica headphones and let Horse Feathers take me to a land where in the rain, there just might be less clothing and hopefully shaved armpits.

How did I get home? Totes black umbrella, 8 inches in length, about a quarter pound in weight. Compact, fits anywhere. Never leave home with out it.

My New Balance sneaks got wet. I didn't yelp, screech or wail. I just laughed.